My favorite personality framework is a kids cartoon called Avatar: the Last Airbender. In it, characters may be blessed with the ability to ‘bend’ one of the four elements: earth, air, fire and water. Each element has their own kingdom, and each kingdom is characterized by traits associated with their element. The Fire Nation is aggressive, bold and intense. The Water Tribes are more laid back, living harmoniously with their surroundings. The Air Nomads are the cerebral hippies of the bunch, and the Earth Kingdom is practical, straightforward and, well, down to Earth.

As I’ve gotten along in my life and career I’ve started putting the people I meet in one of these four categories. It’s surprisingly effective. As for me, I’m a water type. I actually used to bemoan a perceived lack of “fiery” qualities in my personality. I used to want to be bolder, more assertive. And maybe I have learned to do that a little. Jiu jitsu helps. But I realized something about water the other day that most people don’t think of. The same quality that allows water to flow, also makes it impossible to shove.

I used to think that as a water type, all anyone would need to do is come at me with sufficient force and bluster. That “go with the flow” is another way of saying “don’t work that hard to stand up for yourself” but nothing could be further from the truth. The fallacy is in the phrase “don’t work that hard” because water never seems like it’s working hard. And yet, it cut out the Grand Canyon.

Think about an ocean, or even a lake. Try to wade in up to your chest and give it a good shove. Now think about how silly you feel. Now go to a river, and try to scream and shout and intimidate it into flowing in another direction. My point is that water’s ultimate power is its ability to neutralize force by flowing around it. Sure, you can make a river flow in another direction, but you literally have to re-arrange the Earth to do that. Think water doesn’t have power? Tell that to a hydroelectric dam. It doesn’t crash, burn, or blow the way the other elements do. But with enough time, nothing is more powerful than water.

In real life, what does this look like? Well, sometimes people use words that stick in us like a shard of glass, or hit us like a blunt object. Sometimes people know the exact thing to say that just sssshhick! Gets right between our ribs. But what if we could be less solid, and more fluid? Like stabbing a lake. Like trying to punch Casper the Friendly Ghost. Splash, don't crash.Forget your-momma jokes, a real smile is the most effective comeback. Makes you seem unshakable. Or unsinkable, rather.

Anyway, ‘ol water has more going for it than I thought. In fact, it’s probably the best personality type. Superior to all the others. Good thing I am one! Hahahaha.

Just kidding. Peace/

-A