“Do you wish for happiness? Then take up a burden that is suitable to your own self. There you will find joy, and the shadow that creates happiness.”

“Every light casts a shadow.”

Record of Ragnarok, s2e10

I’m watching a really interesting show where Humans and Gods have a tournament-style deathmatch to determine the fate of the human race. I don’t want to get into the whole story and nuances of the show here, but it’s called Record of Ragnarok and it’s great. However, I do want to talk about an episode I’m in the middle of.

The backstory of this episode is one of envy. Zerofuku was in his infancy as a god. He walked among the humans of a local village, who lived in abject suffering, sickness and misery, and was moved to help. He approached a boy, tended to by his mother, who could barely breathe and was on the verge of death. By touching the boy’s chest, the young god discovered that he had the ability to absorb the pain and suffering of humans into his own divine body. In doing so, the boy was instantly made healthy again. “Look mother, I can run again!” He exclaimed. Soon all the humans came and had their pain and suffering removed, and absorbed, by Zerofuku.

Once he had absorbed all the pain he could, Zerofuku retreated into a hut for some time.Though he was immortal, the humans' suffering took its toll on him. It ran throughout his body, unable to escape, unable to find an outlet, slowly causing the young god to lose his mind, and causing irreparable damage to his spirit and driving him insane. When he emerged from the hut, he was met with the worst sight possible. The humans, to whom he had given every last ounce of his strength and, indeed, his sanity, had used his precious gift to become slovenly, hedonistic, and impulsive. They no longer worked hard, no longer cared for each other, and pursued only mindless pleasure, believing it to be the only source of happiness. Everywhere Zerofuku looked he saw selfishness. Even the young boy, now a robust man, saw Zerofuku, and looked down on him as a street urchin. He had no memory of Zerofuku saving his life.

The broken young god was utterly spent. He had no more understanding, no more will to live.

Then, a crowd of newcomers arrived. They were filthy and destitute but they seemed happy. They wore easy, natural smiles. The newcomers didn’t mind the discomfort of the hot sun or the hard ground. They had very little, but their eyes shone with a light that had long since gone from the eyes of the villagers. They followed a tall, graceful man who dressed in robes and wore a detached smile. The man's face was handsome and ageless and unadorned by wrinkles or worry. He seemed to walk past the villagers and yet float above them at the same time. He spared no one a glance, and he was as radiant and unreachable as the sun. The strangers called him Buddha.

Zerofuku could not understand. This Buddha appeared to give nothing to anyone, and yet those who followed him did so with peaceful hearts. They were living the lives that Zerofuku had attempted to give to the villagers. To him it was the most unfair thing imaginable.

Wait! He called.

Why? Why? Why? Why do the humans around you look so happy? I tried so hard to take their pain away myself, and these humans aren’t happy at all! They’re more miserable than ever!

You took their pain away? No wonder it didn’t work! The Buddha replied.

You shouldn’t try to force happiness on people; you can’t, because It comes from within.

With that, Buddha flicked a bean in the air, caught it in his mouth, smiled and walked away.

“Wherever there is shadow, there is also light.”

Take from this what you will but to me, it’s a parable about the nature of human joy and suffering. That one is meaningless and in fact can't exist without the other. If you take away someone’s problems, you take away their opportunity to solve their own problems, which is the only true key to a content life. I genuinely don't believe people want their problems solved. They want to feel like they have the agency and the autonomy and the courage to face their problems themselves. We all know the trope of the miserable lottery winner. The story of the person who got everything they wanted dropped into their lap and somehow ended up even more miserable than before.

I actually heard this paraphrased the other day in a podcast, where someone was explaining that in psychoanalysis, it's been known for a long time that ineffective therapy is when the therapist just offers solutions. People don't want to feel like a car that needs fixing. They want desperately to feel like they are the mechanic, and no matter how much of a beater, rusty ol' lemon their life is, that improvement is possible. Becuase I might fix a problem for you now, but whose to say that down the road I won't break down again? "Teach a man to fish" kinda thing.

That’s what I got for now, anyway.

-A